When I was pregnant with Elliot, my "nesting" instincts weren't very good. I'm not sure what the deal was, but I simply had no motivation to get the house tidied up for his arrival. Part of my hesitation was funding - we had just moved into a new apartment in a new city only five months after getting married and my husband had a brand-new job and we were still paying rent on our former apartment (which we couldn't get out of fast enough, let me tell you!). I was also busy with laundry, dishes, getting the apartment organized for our personal living, and dealing with bills from several different hospitals (my husband's previous job had offered no medical insurance). So, my dreams of putting together any kind of deliciously adorable nursery were kind of squashed by the instinct to just survive life in general.
This list is to help you NOT to freak out if you're in a similar boat. Having a baby - excepting the hospital bills - need not be as expensive as everyone makes it out to be. You need not trip over yourself trying to make everything perfect for the little one. All he or she wants as a newborn is your attention and love! So here are some suggestions for relaxing, saving, and keeping it low-key.
1. Hospital Bills Can Be Paid Over Time. I don't think anything in this life has given me greater comfort than the knowledge that you can pay off your bill a little at a time, each month. Even if you are unfortunate to not have medical insurance, the hospital doesn't mind if you pay small amounts each month - so long as you are making payments. Knowing that I could pay our C-section bill off in small increments was a huge burden off my shoulders. So, don't sweat that bill! Talk to the hospital billing staff about your options. In my case, I set up an automatic pay plan with the hospital, so I knew exactly how much was being taken out of our account and how much we were paying off on the bill!
2. You Don't Need a Fancy Nursery. Ya just don't. You wanna know where Elliot slept for the first 3 months? In a bassinet by my bedside. Now, obviously all babies are different, and each method of parenting is different, too, but we had a crib set up and everything, and Elliot wouldn't sleep in it. After 9 months of cramped living conditions, he still wanted that "snuggled" feeling. The bassinet was a good size for him, and I was right there to pick him up when he needed feeding at all odd hours of the night. I don't think he even saw or gave two hoots about his colorful dragon mobile until he was about 4 months. Save your money on that cute choo-choo train decor and go for a good cuddly bassinet instead.
3. Plan a Baby Registry. If you have friends and family who are as excited as you are about the prospect of a baby, then chances are, they will want to help you prepare for your bundle of joy. And what better way to help 'em out by creating a baby registry? Many stores have them, but you can also register online at Amazon and pick out specifically what you will need. I recommend a good swing, cotton muslin baby towels (which are multi-purpose and awesome), baby bottles, some kind of carrier (like a boba or moby wrap), a boppy, a stroller, and a good set of sleeping sacks. Your newborn will not require too much!
4. Buy Off-Brand. I found out within three or four months that there was absolutely no need for me to be buying baby formula and baby diapers by name-brand. Do what feels right for you, and of course ask your doctor and do research yourself, but we switched to the store brand, Comforts for Baby, as soon as we realized that it was perfectly safe to do so. The cost was about 50% cheaper and performed the same task we needed from the name-brand. We still wrap Elliot in a Pampers at night, though, since it does a better job of keeping long-term leaks at bay!
5. Don't Sweat the Hospital Bag. I read about how these ladies would pack half of China just for a few nights' stay in a hospital. Also, you're supposed to have all this stuff packed at least a month or so in advance. I could have benefited from having my bag packed that far ahead, but I discovered I didn't need much at all. Actually, I just wish I'd brought my iPod and more books. Every pregnancy is obviously going to be different, but the hospital will provide you with almost everything you actually need. Bring along a few luxuries - some slippers, your robe, a phone charger, some deoderant, books - and definitely don't go anywhere without your Depends. I swear to God, those things are magically comfortable.
6. Push Present. What the hell is this, anyway? Just don't.
7. Become Queen of Clothes Sales. Babies don't need designer clothes. They just get bodily fluids all over 'em anyway, and they grow SO FAST you'll wish you'd saved that extra money for a new car or something. My mom and my MIL told me not to buy Elliot a single thing, and now he has boxes and boxes of clothes that were only about $.50 at garage sales and thrift stores. Look for these sales and for clearance items in case you do decide to do a little spoiling. But there's no reason to blow $17 on an adorable set of pajamas when you could have bought something similar for $.50 at your neighbor's yard sale.
These are just a few tips; overall I would encourage to budget your money as wisely as possible. Babies need so very little and the only thing they need spoiling with is love, not gifts. Cuddling and nursing and singing make more of a difference than anything superfluous. Think practical! I found that I could make due with the bare minimum. I was also blessed to have the sound advice of my mother and MIL, as well as the generosity of friends and family. The most important thing to remember is to count your blessings and think of ways to turn a desperate situation into a positive one!
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