House-Hunting, Finances, and the Hassle with Hays

Hello, friends! I thought tonight I would post about the Leiker family's adventures in house-hunting. My husband's aunt is a realtor, and with baby number two on the way, Jeff and I figured we might search for a house with more than two rooms and one bathroom. It's not that we can't manage in a two-bedroom apartment - other people have certainly managed - but the extra space would be nice, and we were hoping to get our dogs back from Jeff's parents, as well. You know, just another step in adulthood, another responsibility, another step towards independence.

Our list of requirements started out simple. The house had to be:

1. Located in Ellis County.
2. Between $50,000 and $120,000.
3. 3 or 4 bedroom.
4. Situated in a nice neighborhood (by "nice" I mean that I had to feel like I could let Elliot play outside without worrying that pot-heads and perverts might be watching)
5. Gifted with a nice backyard for dogs. 

It seemed simple enough. But as we were to find out, nothing is ever simple.

Ever.

I have since looked at houses outside of Hays, KS, and I am convinced that this must be the most expensive place on earth to live, let alone rent a mere two-bedroom apartment. Looking at our budget with Jeff's aunt, we quickly found out that our actual house-buying budget was between $50,000 and $90,000. However, the houses selling for that price did not meet all our criteria, and were badly in need of fixing up. We were not opposed to the idea of fixing up a house, but we wanted to have to do minimal and inexpensive work - these houses were calling out for their own spot on HGTV's Fixer-Upper. With heavy hearts, we both admitted that we should wait to purchase a house. There was no immediate rush, anyway, and with doctor's bills looming ahead, we needed to be prepared for our savings to take a pounding.

So, we will wait another year or two! That was the outcome of our research. Now, let me tell you a little about our discoveries along the way!

Aside from the huge financial strain, we learned a thing or two from touring some houses. I will lay them out in bullet-form for your convenience.

• Wood is pretty but costly to keep cool or warm. Old houses, especially, will run up electrical bills faster than you can say "Scrooge McDuck."
• Just say no to small kitchens.
• Maintenance problems need to be kept to a minimum. Preferably none at all.
• The kitchen MUST HAVE a dishwasher. 
• Hallways, door-frames, and rooms should be spacious, since Jeff and I are not hobbits.
• A piano should be able to fit in the living room. 
• Air conditioning - central or what? Same with heating. How will our electrical bill look in the dead or winter or the middle of summer?
• City or well water?
• Ellis is too far away and the neighborhoods are less than appealing. There is no nearby grocery store or decent restaurant. 
• Victoria is "cliquey" to a fault.
• Catherine is too "country." 

In a nutshell, nothing but Hays will do for my husband and I, but the cost of living is far greater than can be afforded on one income. Which is why I am going to do my best to go professional with my blog.

Yes, I've been thinking about switching to WordPress and using a hosting site. That way I can sign up for ads and things like that. We will see what happens! I am blessed right now to be a stay-at-home mom, but that can't continue forever if we want to live in a house in Hays. So! Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, as we continue the search and do our best to live each day by counting our blessings!

7 Ways to Save on Baby

When I was pregnant with Elliot, my "nesting" instincts weren't very good. I'm not sure what the deal was, but I simply had no motivation to get the house tidied up for his arrival. Part of my hesitation was funding - we had just moved into a new apartment in a new city only five months after getting married and my husband had a brand-new job and we were still paying rent on our former apartment (which we couldn't get out of fast enough, let me tell you!). I was also busy with laundry, dishes, getting the apartment organized for our personal living, and dealing with bills from several different hospitals (my husband's previous job had offered no medical insurance). So, my dreams of putting together any kind of deliciously adorable nursery were kind of squashed by the instinct to just survive life in general.

This list is to help you NOT to freak out if you're in a similar boat. Having a baby - excepting the hospital bills - need not be as expensive as everyone makes it out to be. You need not trip over yourself trying to make everything perfect for the little one. All he or she wants as a newborn is your attention and love! So here are some suggestions for relaxing, saving, and keeping it low-key.

1. Hospital Bills Can Be Paid Over Time. I don't think anything in this life has given me greater comfort than the knowledge that you can pay off your bill a little at a time, each month. Even if you are unfortunate to not have medical insurance, the hospital doesn't mind if you pay small amounts each month - so long as you are making payments. Knowing that I could pay our C-section bill off in small increments was a huge burden off my shoulders. So, don't sweat that bill! Talk to the hospital billing staff about your options. In my case, I set up an automatic pay plan with the hospital, so I knew exactly how much was being taken out of our account and how much we were paying off on the bill!

2. You Don't Need a Fancy Nursery. Ya just don't. You wanna know where Elliot slept for the first 3 months? In a bassinet by my bedside. Now, obviously all babies are different, and each method of parenting is different, too, but we had a crib set up and everything, and Elliot wouldn't sleep in it. After 9 months of cramped living conditions, he still wanted that "snuggled" feeling. The bassinet was a good size for him, and I was right there to pick him up when he needed feeding at all odd hours of the night. I don't think he even saw or gave two hoots about his colorful dragon mobile until he was about 4 months. Save your money on that cute choo-choo train decor and go for a good cuddly bassinet instead.

3. Plan a Baby Registry. If you have friends and family who are as excited as you are about the prospect of a baby, then chances are, they will want to help you prepare for your bundle of joy. And what better way to help 'em out by creating a baby registry? Many stores have them, but you can also register online at Amazon and pick out specifically what you will need. I recommend a good swing, cotton muslin baby towels (which are multi-purpose and awesome), baby bottles, some kind of carrier (like a boba or moby wrap), a boppy, a stroller, and a good set of sleeping sacks. Your newborn will not require too much!

4. Buy Off-Brand. I found out within three or four months that there was absolutely no need for me to be buying baby formula and baby diapers by name-brand. Do what feels right for you, and of course ask your doctor and do research yourself, but we switched to the store brand, Comforts for Baby, as soon as we realized that it was perfectly safe to do so. The cost was about 50% cheaper and performed the same task we needed from the name-brand. We still wrap Elliot in a Pampers at night, though, since it does a better job of keeping long-term leaks at bay!

5. Don't Sweat the Hospital Bag. I read about how these ladies would pack half of China just for a few nights' stay in a hospital. Also, you're supposed to have all this stuff packed at least a month or so in advance. I could have benefited from having my bag packed that far ahead, but I discovered I didn't need much at all. Actually, I just wish I'd brought my iPod and more books. Every pregnancy is obviously going to be different, but the hospital will provide you with almost everything you actually need. Bring along a few luxuries - some slippers, your robe, a phone charger, some deoderant, books - and definitely don't go anywhere without your Depends. I swear to God, those things are magically comfortable.

6. Push Present. What the hell is this, anyway? Just don't.

7. Become Queen of Clothes Sales. Babies don't need designer clothes. They just get bodily fluids all over 'em anyway, and they grow SO FAST you'll wish you'd saved that extra money for a new car or something. My mom and my MIL told me not to buy Elliot a single thing, and now he has boxes and boxes of clothes that were only about $.50 at garage sales and thrift stores. Look for these sales and for clearance items in case you do decide to do a little spoiling. But there's no reason to blow $17 on an adorable set of pajamas when you could have bought something similar for $.50 at your neighbor's yard sale.

These are just a few tips; overall I would encourage to budget your money as wisely as possible. Babies need so very little and the only thing they need spoiling with is love, not gifts. Cuddling and nursing and singing make more of a difference than anything superfluous. Think practical! I found that I could make due with the bare minimum. I was also blessed to have the sound advice of my mother and MIL, as well as the generosity of friends and family. The most important thing to remember is to count your blessings and think of ways to turn a desperate situation into a positive one!

Shindigs, Food, and Spiders at Mass

Today was a very busy day! Jeff had to work (yes, even though it is a Sunday, it was his weekend to work at the energy plant) this morning and I had to cantor at the 10:30 Mass, so the big question was, who would look after Elliot?

I texted the in-laws, but even after no reply, I drove over in the hopes that maybe their phones were just off or on vibrate. Unfortunately, even knocking on the door yielded no results, so I called up Jeff and, panicked, told him there was a change of plans.

Jeff ended up bringing Elliot to work and strolling him around the college grounds while I went to church and sang. I had been so nervous before, but I was on pitch and sang loud and clear. Fr. Fred gave a moving homily about the vanities of this world, and how everyone cries for peace and love and still yet those who preach tolerance are merely preaching their own brand of re-education. The true path to peace, Fr. Fred said, is in Jesus. All answers will always lie within Jesus. Following in His ways will bring us great happiness, rather than the vanities of this world.

Some time during the Liturgy of the Eucharist, I noticed a spider the size of a quarter moving across the floor towards me. It fell off the step and hid beneath my kneeler. Then, of all things, right when I had to kneel down, the little fellow decided to fall off that step and head for my feet. In front of the whole church I swiftly sat up and smashed that arachnid to smithereens.

Quietly, of course. And as discreetly as possible.

After Mass I found out that the in-laws had taken charge of Elliot so that Jeff could finish his work at the plant. He was interrupted yet again when I asked him to pick me up! My poor husband! He came and got me and we drove back to the plant, where he finished his duties.

We met some friends for lunch at Al's Chickenette, a FANTASTIC restaurant specializing in - obviously - Southern-fried chicken. Oooooh, it was SO GOOD. Jeff used to hate eating there because they fried their chicken in lard, and it would cause his mouth to break out. However, now they are doing something completely different, and Jeff can eat without worrying! We both ordered large helpings of chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy, hot rolls, and corn. I ate everything on my plate and had some ice-cream to top it all off. It was delicious!

After lunch, Jeff and I went home to freshen up. Our auntie was throwing a surprise party for her mom at 2:00, and we were invited to attend!

I think the party was a great success. Jeff and I were full from lunch, but we ate a little cake and chatted with relatives. Jeff's parents came over, bringing Elliot, and we gave him small bits of cake, Cheerio's, and some fruit. As a gift, everyone was getting their picture taken and added to a lovely scrapbook. It was then that I discovered the Instax camera - a darling little pink thing that produced instant pictures. The girl said she had found it on Amazon, so I think I'll look into getting one for myself! They are fairly inexpensive and easy to use. Plus, the pictures develop instantly, so you can use them later for scrapbooking!

After the party, Jeff and I attended yet ANOTHER party - the cast and crew party for the musical, of which Jeff was a vital part of. Jeff helped out with the sound production for the musical, practically doing all of it himself. And since families were able to attend, I came along with Elliot. He had so much fun playing in the park! He ate two large helpings of baby food and drank a lot of water before getting fussy.

At this point, I am trying to get him to sleep.

He was falling asleep in the car on the way home, so I thought a bath and a bottle of milk would finish him off, but of course it only revved him up for two more hours. He is now in his crib, cooing and talking to his stuffed panda.

Elliot's bedtime is usually determined by several factors, the most common being:

1. When his last nap was and how long he slept for.
2. How much energy he needs to get out of his system.
3. How tired mamma is.

I don't want to be one of those parents who allows their children to pick their own bedtime. I believe in regulation and scheduling, and I believe in the parent's right to set a decent bedtime for their little ones. Usually we keep to a strict schedule - anywhere between 7 and 9 is when Elliot will generally fall asleep. If he's especially wound up, I let him play before bed. But the norm for him is to fall asleep before or around 9:00. He will then sleep for anywhere between 10 and 12 hours straight.

Aren't I a lucky mamma?

Getting You All Up to Speed

I have been soooo bad about not keeping up with this blog o' mine.

In part I have been super-lazy. Sometimes I am just not in the blogging mood and would rather use my free time to binge-watch Netflix or Pinterest. Truly, the memes about responsibility are true - I'd LIKE to run towards responsibility like an adult, but the pit trap of internet distractions is inevitable. And too tempting. I have a strong spirit and weak flesh.

So, I think I last blogged during February, during the time of Lent. Easter has come and gone, and what a time it was! We were surprisingly busy with local friends and family, plus travel to visit other family, and family reunions. So, family. And speaking of family, ours is getting another addition.

Yes! I am expecting again! In April I noticed several tell-tale signs, and in May we confirmed with a doctor. In June I had my first glimpse of my little bean, ten weeks old! He or she was kicking his or her foot inside my womb. You could clearly see it. Again I fell in love. At first I had cried, feeling cheated of precious time I should be spending with Elliot. But within a few weeks I felt reconciled to the beautiful idea of a brand-new baby. Elliot is growing up so fast, and as a SAHM, I spend almost every waking minute with him. That will never change. Now there will be a sibling for him to play with, and I will be able to treasure those moments just as I would treasure the moments of Elliot as an only-child.

Now, to answer the important questions:

1. I am doing great. Except for random bouts of nausea, without the vomiting, the first trimester passed fairly quietly. I have been eating like a hobbit every day, and since Elliot sleeps through the night, I am fortunate to get quite a lot of sleep myself.

2. No, I don't know the gender yet. Yes, we will be finding out. I don't care if it is a boy or a girl, so long as he or she is healthy.

3. Yes, all the friends and family know. Everyone is excited, though not as visibly excited as when I was expecting my firstborn.

4. Yes, this one was unexpected. Quite frankly, Elliot was unexpected, too. But not unwelcome. None of my children will ever be unwelcome or unloved or unwanted.

5. Yes, I am very much aware that I will be busy with two children under the age of 2. You may now tell me something I don't know, preferably something to do with dinosaurs or a new Marvel movie.

I know that people must be thinking, "Wow, that was quick." I'm not offended by such an idea; even I know that it was quick. I think we have been somehow trained to believe that the production of children should follow a certain timeline - that the second child should come after a few years of fun with the first one. There is, too, the scandalous knowledge, not spoken out loud of course, that the couple went back to having sex really fast after the first pregnancy. "Whoa, slow down you bunny rabbits," you may be thinking. "Geez, take it easy." I'll forgive you such thoughts - after all, it's what I might think, too. But only playfully. In my heart, I believe fully that babies are a gift from God, and even the most careful couple can still conceive if that baby is a part of the wonderful plan He has Masterminded. Who knows what He has in store for my darlings?

In July, my mom and dad came down to help Jeff and I rearrange our apartment. We are still living in our two-bedroom, and the challenge is finding space for the necessities of life. During the month we cleaned out and organized and held a garage sale, the proceeds of which totaled well over $450. When my parents came, they helped me move Elliot's crib into the second-bedroom, which will become his playroom/nursery. We organized an office space in the living room, and transferred books to bookshelves. Everything looks a lot cleaner now, except for the unending piles of laundry in our bedroom.

Also this month, Jeff was roped into helping out with the sound production for the Hays Community Theater's rendition of Shrek: The Musical. I helped out by selling Shrek ears to families coming in to watch the performance! Two weeks before showtime, the director quit over a matter of kidney stones, and so it was left to first-time-director Meredith to take the reins. She finished the job beautifully, and opening night saw as many as 484 people, with the second night equaling it. I was fortunate enough to see the opening show, and it blew my mind - the immense gifts of time and talent that are put forth in the effort to create something beautiful and entertaining makes me wonder where our priorities are as a society today. In the schools they place more value on mathematics, science, computers, and sports, while music and art and theater are pushed to the side as extracurricular and struggle to find government funding. The very programs that foster creativity and beauty are exchanged for programs that only produce competition, work-a-holics, and comparison. And people wonder why kids are so restless and angry all the time!

There are other tidbits I want to comment about. I started cantoring at our local Catholic church. I have some strong feelings about this circus of a presidential campaign. I want to review classic books and movies. I've been trying new recipes. My tea business needs business. Jeff and I tried to look at houses. There's so much! But this post is just to orient y'all.

Elliot is taking his first steps now, and he climbs everything. He gets into the toilet to splash around and he tries to eat dust bunnies. He goes after anything with buttons or shiny lights. His latest fetish is the wheel. He will play with wheels, try to eat them, and wheel them around. He would rather push the stroller than ride in it!

We are a very blessed family, indeed. With one darling baby and another on the way, both Jeff and I have a great deal to be thankful for. We may not be rich in greenbacks, but we have treasure beyond compare, and so many blessings surrounding us. Sometimes it is a struggle to remember that, especially when faced with medical bills, looking for a house, or dealing with irritable coworkers and job situations. Still, it is a relief to know that the Lord never gives us a cross that we cannot handle, and that He is there to guide us along that path as we carry those crosses!

Matcha Lip Balm

Okay, so I said I would post about some of the crafty stuff I am working on...

...so here is a post about MATCHA LIP BALM!

Before I go into detail, I want to post a disclaimer about this "experiment." I did not pull this recipe from the internet - I looked at a bunch of different recipes, gathered different ingredients, and experimented to find a concoction that suited me. The resulting concoction works more as lip gloss than balm, and I have not yet perfected the recipe to my satisfaction. I am calling it lip balm because it does indeed soothe lips (and I would know because my lips get a little cracked in the winter). So far I have not experienced any weird side effects. The matcha I used is the highest-grade matcha, completely organic, and most of the other ingredients I bought at Hobby Lobby. The Cherry Blossom essential oil I bought on Amazon for $4.00.

These are the ingredients I used: shea butter, coconut oil, petroleum jelly, cherry blossom essential oil, and matcha powder from Steeped Tea. For containers I just grabbed a package of round containers from Hobby Lobby's jewelry department.

If you're wondering, "why matcha?" I have only to say that matcha - which is a powdered form of green tea - is extremely healthy, not only for ingestion but for skin care as well!

I had no idea how much of anything to use. That's how disorganized I am! I just thought I'd throw things together and see how it turned out.

I unfortunately have no pictures of the ingredients mixed together. My hands were constantly oily/buttery. Plus, I'm lazy like that. But I have a picture of the end result!

I wrote down the formula so I would remember for a later time. This balm was smooth (and a little too oily) and refreshing on my lips, and lasted for several hours. It also produced a nice shine! The concoction settled nicely and was in no way "watery." I was dissatisfied with it, though, because it felt more like lip gloss and less like actual lip balm.

Apparently I needed beeswax.

So I went out and got some, but seriously, every attempt with the beeswax resulted in too stiff a balm - it was more like a matcha candle. So I need to adjust my ingredient amounts, which hopefully will give me the balm I seek.

My experiments were cut short by the baby's demands for attention, but I learned a lot from my day of experimentation, and hopefully I will have a chance in the future to develop the matcha lip balm of my dreams!

A Portrait of My Family

This is a picture from March 2014, when Jeff and I were dating in Topeka, KS. If you can't tell, we're totally in the St. Patrick's Day parade! Jeff is wearing his kilt; I'm wearing his plaid sash and plenty of green for the day! 

Jeff and I met in 2013 on CatholicMatch.com, an online dating site for Catholics. We had both experienced very recent heartbreak, but while Jeff had already dated a bunch of different girls, I was getting over a breakup from a 6-year relationship with my first boyfriend. Jeff and I had a lot in common: favorite authors; a love of nature; an interest in Renaissance fairs; our Catholic faith; and a shared amusement for fart jokes. Jeff made me laugh all the time and loved introducing me to new things like Skyrim, Pink Floyd, Dungeons&Dragons, and Doctor Who. Being a couple of nerds, it only took two dates for us to go steady. I consider Jeff to be the puzzle piece I cannot live without; he completes me as much as I complete him. 

We married in January 2015. Was our whirlwind courtship something I regret? Nope and never! Sometimes, when you meet your other half, there is no need to wait. With God's grace, it was His will that we became man and wife. 

Our life, at first, was far from easy. We lived in Topeka, KS, in apartments that were poorly managed and filled with people who smoked in the hallways and threw their liquor bottles in the stairwell. Jeff was miserable in his job, which offered him no benefits despite being full-time and used him as a delivery boy despite Jeff's numerous talents and certification for building technology. I hesitated to get a job because Jeff and I talked often of moving to Hays, KS, where he was born and had grown up. The monkey wrench in the complicated gears was my pregnancy, of which we became aware of a month after our honeymoon. 

Elliot playing peek-a-boo!

Ugh, pregnancy in that apartment was horrible! I was sick every day until mid-April, and the smells harassed me endlessly. In April, Jeff lost his job - as he put it, he and his employer "parted ways." We had no income, no health insurance, and we were miles and miles away from close friends and relatives. Our Lord had answered our prayers! Without anything to hold us back, we took the lemons in our life and added sugar, water, and a lot of smiles! 

Meaning, that is, that we moved our butts to Hays, KS, where Jeff immediately found a job (with benefits!) and I found an awesome OB. We found a lovely apartment with fantastic management. I started blogging, and I became a tea consultant! My body was growing round with my precious bundle and we had friends and family to help us get settled in our new home. 

My first Steeped Tea party!

And then, as you know, Elliot was born in September...and we just celebrated our first anniversary this past January! Is our marriage easy? No way! Finances, of course, were our worst nightmare, and sometimes they still are. We totally fight about petty things I never imagined we'd have fights about - like what side of the sink to wash dishes in. Weird, right? But our fights prove to me that we have our differences and our opinions and our independent selves that still need working on - believe me, it isn't easy to be single one moment and then married the next! I find that the biggest obstacle I face is my own selfishness, and when I work on improving that, I automatically improve our marriage. He finds that by trusting me and communicating with me, we both learn more about each other, our problems, and our ideas for solutions.

Also, my husband was right about which side of the sink is easier to wash in.

Our Halloween picture. Jeff looks done. Elliot at 2 months! Me trying (and failing) to look gothic.

Lent is Coming Up!

Hi, everyone! 

Lent is here! 

Last year I was a bad Catholic and did not attend much to my spiritual life during this time. The only excuse I have is that I was pregnant and yarking all over the place and feeling pretty horrible the whole time. Still, being pregnant exempted me from the fasting and abstinence. I might have tried to make a small sacrifice in giving up sweets, but at some point I'm pretty sure I gave up giving up. 

But this year is different! I have nothing to excuse me now. I have given up sweets and bread (rolls, buns, sandwich bread, etc.) and I am focusing on my prayer and meditation more. I was hoping to read parts of the Bible to Elliot but there never seems to be a moment of peace for us when I can read to him. 

We went to Ash Wednesday Mass in the evening, since my husband was working the graveyard shift and slept during the day. We brought Elliot with us and once again we were so impressed with our little man's good behavior in church! I know it isn't destined to last, but right now I'm loving our baby's wide-eyed stares and silence during the holiest of prayers. 

 

For those of you who may be unaware, Lent is a time - much like Advent - of expectation and prayer. Catholics especially have a special connection to Lent in that it leads to the day of Christ's Resurrection - also known as Easter. We journey with Christ along His road; we experience temptations, witness His miracles, and hear His message of love that the Pharisees were unable to understand or tolerate. The Easter Triduum at the end of Lent marks the time in which we celebrate Christ's Passion, Death, and His Resurrection. We follow Christ along the Way of the Cross and pray for souls on earth while administering to our own wounded souls through prayer, Mass, the sacrament of the Eucharist, charitable works, and of course, fasting and abstinence. 

The ashes on our foreheads are given to us with the words, "Remember, you are dust, and to dust you shall return." It is a grim reminder of our mortality. But we know that, in the celebration of Easter, we are given a firm reminder of the immortality of our souls and how they may be united with Christ if we but tend them with love and care. 

Father's homily on Ash Wednesday also reminded me of something. He spoke of Jesus' request that we pray and do our charitable acts in secret so that our Father in heaven may reward us. In this world of social media, where everyone shares everything and many seek publicity or 15 minutes of fame, Christ's words may be a hard concept to understand or accept. Especially if you refuse to believe that God is read; why bother doing anything in secret when you could enjoy the praise and admiration from flesh-and-blood people? But the phrase "doing good for good's sake" is a principle that applies well in this case. It is meaningful to help others when there's nothing in it for you. 

In other news, Valentine's Day (otherwise known as Singles' Appreciation Day) is coming up! I was looking forward to Applebee's, but since Applebee's is practically the only nice restaurant in town, it's too likely to be packed. So I told him I'd settle for home-cooked steak, chocolate, and then an evening watching Deadpool. 

Oh, yeah.

I never saw the point of flowers, although I always got jealous of my friends and coworkers who received them from their loved ones on Valentine's Day. Honestly, I never bought into the consumerism behind the holiday; it seemed to be just as good as any other day and there was little significance behind it for me. Still, it's one of those fun little holidays that brings cheer to people (or gloom, take your pick, but even while I was single I didn't care; pizza, soda, and movies were my lovers on that day). It's impossible not to get sucked into the spirit of the holidays!